David Tao - You’re the one I love.

My favorite song: 

http://youtu.be/Z7XD7vr2vRw

“You’re the one I love.”

I thought it was the most romantic song I ever heard.  And years ago, before I met one of my “first loves,” I thought there would be no one to dedicate this song to.  And so when I met him, I sang this song for him at Cashbox, and I dedicated it to him.  And it was our song.

Months later, when everything started deteriorating, I was in disbelief, because I had dedicated this song to him, and I was so sure that he was the one. Because it was love at first sight.

Years later, when I met my second “first love,” this song also ran through my head.  I didn’t give this song to him, because it was given to someone else. But I did dedicate something similar to him.  And when that love deteriorated, I was again, in disbelief, because I had thought, he was the one.

What I’ve learned in these past years is that you should never give all of your heart to anyone. Because when you do, you give up 100% of yourself.  You need to keep a part of it for yourself, because you should never morph into another person, you should never give up your soul for the happiness of another.  When you lose yourself is when you lose your grasp on the relationship, on love.

I will never dedicate this song, or any song like it, to anyone else, ever again.

Life is Like a Boat
Vocals: Rie fu
Lyrics: Rie fu
Composition: Rie fu

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin’ and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on your way
The waves would guide you thru another day

I’m breathing in the distance, as if I’ve turned transparent
I thought it had gotten dark, but I was merely blindfolded

I offer a prayer and wait for a new day
To the ends of the ocean that shines vividly

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

People’s hearts change, so I want to slip out
The moon in its new cycle brings along the boat again

And every time I see your face,
the oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
and soon I can see the shore

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

The journey is still continuing on, on the calm days, too
The moon in its new cycle begins to shine on the boat again

I offer a prayer and wait for a new day
To the ends of the ocean that shines vividly

And every time I see your face,
the oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
and soon I can see the shore

Rowing the boat of fate, the waves assault us one after the next
But that’s also a wonderful journey; they’re all wonderful journeys

Moving back home from a big, bustling, developing city to a quiet, sanitary, boring town kind of caught me off guard.  I thought I was prepared, but my mind was still working at light speed.  I wasn’t used to decompressing.

Being overseas for 9 years took a toll on me, physically and mentally.  More importantly, I never had the time to sit and reflect on everything that’s happened.  It took a week long trip to Hawaii with my high school friends for me to realize what happened.

It’s kind of strange, isn’t it, when your best friends know who you are more than you do.  I left them for almost a decade, but they still know who I am, even if I no longer did.  Who I changed into, because of certain events in my life, could have only been recognized by someone who knew you when you were 13.  It’s because they grew up with you and they know your inner soul because you developed it together.  And seeing my best friend concerned for me started to make me question everything I believed. 

I was alone, for a long time.

By alone, I don’t mean, single.

I mean, keeping a lot of thoughts to myself, a lot of feelings that I felt no one could understand.  After all, who could understand you better than the person that experienced all your firsts with you? The first time I skipped curfew, the first time I got my permit, the first time I got a boyfriend, the first time I was brokenhearted… 

I’m lucky.

I have friends that can remind me of all the goodness in my life, and I have friends that care enough to want to be there for me.

Thinking about it now really really shocks me. At how long I kept my innermost thoughts to myself.  There were very few times while I was overseas that I felt I could bare my thoughts to anyone.  And all those thoughts inside your head, and all those times that you have to protect yourself really affect the way you look at the world, and yourself.

I’m so glad they were able to remind me of who I was and who I should be. I really am truly grateful.

okay this is effed up but I admit I smirked.

Anne.

anneespiritu:

 “So, are you dating anyone?”

That seems to be the one question that people ask me fairly consistently — and it usually happens in the first 20 minutes of conversations. I can’t quite tell if it’s merely a common way to initiate small talk, or if they are genuinely curious to know or perhaps,…

How stupid are they? When can we be mature enough to just be real with our feelings and vulnerabilities?  It makes me sick that grown people like us still feel we need to do this to prove a point, or to make ourselves seem stronger.  It’s total and complete bullshit.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted.  Really, it’s because I haven’t reached a point where I knew what was going on to write anything down.  

I’m hoping that things will get clearer as it happens, but I’m starting something new and I’m hoping to do everything right this time.  

Relationships are so hard to manage.  You have to really respect our elders who have been together for 50+ years. They know what being selfless really is.  Our generation?  Not so much.

Amazing.

idealisticlove:

Park Hyatt Hotel, Chairman Suite [Shanghai]